It turns out, when I’ve got a fast paced day, week, or month, I’m more able to tackle projects and finish activities than when my pace is looser and slower.
Case in point: this blog. I’ve been …like… busy – volunteering at school, working at my job(s), parenting, keeping house, and being with family and friends. But at any given point, I have time at the end of the day to do whatever – laundry, playing Candy Crush (oh man.), watching Dexter, cleaning house, finishing up on last tasks, prepping for the next day… but I inevitably choose to spend time ‘relaxing.’ So I write a list for tomorrow to write in this blog, or finally wash the sheets in the hamper, or scoop the fur from the bottom of the stairs, or develop my 5 year plan. And then I can feel accomplished that it’s on a list, and also justified in ‘relaxing’ tonight.
Each January for the past few years I’ve been lucky to take on a full time contract for 3 months (so helpful for post-Christmas bills!) and I’m lucky that my boss is flexible, and I’m lucky that I enjoy the work. Switching into a full time position after being self-employed and self-directed is a shift for the whole family and requires all of us to be hands on.
So now (and I’m sure many of you are already familiar with this pace) I am working outside the home all day, and still fitting in my other job(s), parenting my children, keeping house, volunteering with the school, and having time for family and friends. And yet… I’m not overwhelmed. I feel capable and accomplished, and pleased when I remember to pick up milk on the way home and remember to stop at the post office on my lunch to send a package. Suddenly carving space to write this blog feels easy. Playing the shell game or ‘which hand’ with the dog is a no-brainer. Meditating for 10 minutes takes no time.
Huh? Why is this?
What happens in my brain and heart that makes it possible to do *more* things when my day is even more planned than ever?
Kiddos absolutely help. It’s amazing that they are older and are able to take on greater responsibility around the house. We’ve started the rotation that trio is responsible for a dinner night (Lil miss chose perogies, and my oldest will make burgers), and we rearranged our chores so that the bulk of it happens at the weekend.
I wonder if, in the fast pace, I realize I only have a certain amount of time to do any one thing so I’d better-do-it-NOW or else it literally won’t get done. Or I feel more efficient so the likelihood of me sticking with an activity through to completion increases. Maybe it’s something to do with procrastination (no time for THAT), or maybe it has to do with favouring sleep over Dexter (sorry man, you’re less than second place now).
I’m sure this feeling will ebb away and there will be days when I feel scattered and overwhelmed.
But right now, I’ll luxuriate in this amazing and strange experience of not feeling …like… *so* busy but feeling able to greet the road as it rises to meet me.